Climbing in Chiang Mai!

[Photos here].
The trip was lovely and I enjoyed every second of it. I did not do any hard climbs, part because i was there with my non-climbing friends, and part because I was scared shit to try hard routes. I think i would have needed at least a week of climbing for that.

It was endearing to see noobs face the rock walls for the first time in their lives. Oh, the angst and the scare and the "Oh my ggggod I am going to die!" were worth every second of shouting, of "Put your right leg up! Higher, higher! Niice!". And answer questions like "Who makes these big holes in the wall?" [talking about the jugs we kept holding]

One of them (a very big, tall guy), got a short-man's beta from me on a route that was too powerful for him. The frustration and the powerlessness got his body (and i really mean his body) to yell one big "FUCK YOU!" at me when I told him not to be defeated when he was sighing non-stop. And i do say his body, because obviously his mind would not take that risk. Not while on belay that is ...

I was proud as a first-time hen seeing her chicks pluck dirt for the first time, especially when one of them was so obviously talented on the rock. Not like yours truly, who four/five years ago really resembled the big awkward guy. Just goes to show that Neverquits actually works.

I still have to learn a lot, especially on listening to whines and complaints, which is something that I really suck at. And to be more patient when people say that they climb because I make them climb - it's a joke but not when we are talking about something so precious (at least to me). I should take a few seconds to realize that it's a joke and not say the first mean thing that comes to my mind. And to be able to put on my ballz suit from the first days at the rock wall, because sometimes (like now), you won't get more than a few days.
And also I have to learn to let young friendships die. If they are not meant to live, they are not meant to live and nothing I can do will ever bring them back alive. Furthermore, if somebody tells you that your significant other is an angel by comparison [with you] ... all they deserve from you is indeed a very big FUCK OFF.

Lo and behold, the pictures!
Day 1: We were so LOUD on the bus that some of the other people took out their mp3 players! Conversations ranged from digestive system, to boobs, and i think we touched on the subject of death as well. We climbed few routes, I got the big, loud "FUCK YOU!", had a nice lunch, left the girls to rest at the wooden houses, and came back for more! The last route of the day was a very long 6a (30m) that really had an amazing view. We were still loud on the way home, but not quite as loud.

Going towards "The Furnace":


Scared before the climb:


One of the few decent photos of me:


Short-man's beta is not easy!


After the incident (all of us are camera whores, so nothing like a camera pointed at you to make you smile and forget about the "FUCK YOU!"):


Dying going up to our last routes:


The view from the top:


A. doing the "beached whale":


Marian leading again:


Climbing with this is hardd!


Shacked:


Day 2: Shacked when waking up, silent but still talking on the bus. Climbed mostly at Crazy Horse Buttress, which is the main climbing site. Climbed between 7-9 routes, did a 6c (top rope, no ballz). Climbed with an australian that picked us up as partners (he was alone). Marian led a lot of routes and took care of the noobs while I was with the aussie. I ate like it was the end of the world for lunch. We were absolutely SILENT on the bus home. Not a fantastic day because we were in the sun in the morning and it sapped us of all we had.


My fierce impersonation is getting better day by day!


The sun drenched every last bit of energy from us:


Marian is the last one to keep his shirt on:


Totally shacked but still going at it:



Day 3: And then there were 3. We started as 6 in the first day, but by the last day only 3 of us were left. Climbed in a cave at the AirCon wall - so-called because if you sit in front of the cave, cool bursts of wind will come down to cool you (it was hot and very dry outside). The routes were overhanged, which led A. (then one that did a beached whale) to literally french kiss his biceps. And then we went to do a chimney climb, which to my shame i could not lead (no ballz) and I had to set up using a route on its right. Marian led two other routes (so proud, he's leading again!) and then we were done and that was it.

Inside the cave:


Descending into nothing:


Using one's face to climb:

Chiang Mai!

Oh boy oh boy oh boy I have never felt more guilty for skipping one day of work like i do today! So just a few words here! I think i am catching a cold (which is like HOW rare?), I have worn my running shoes only to walk around in them (shame), I think I gained weight (oops) or its just the swell from flying (yeah right), but other than that I had a great time finally touching rock for the first time this year. Pictures to come!

Distractions

I try to work eight hours per day but ...

1. I get distracted by the huge number of beautifully written, colorful, funny, smart, caring blogs out there. I am a reader by nature (should have been an editor I think, and not a PhD student - notice how "PhD student" suddenly got promoted to a job), meaning that I would rather read a book than see a movie for example. I successfully productive day is one where I do not open my RSS reader and I do not read any (but a chosen few) blogs (for which i go directly on the website). Which of course, the next day means I have to spend more time reading to catch up.

2. I get distracted by my nook, aka hippo. I keep reading it (especially if the book is good) without feeling extremely remorseful, mostly because it is e-ink, which makes it almost electronic. Which makes it almost non-procrastinative.

3. I get distracted by any form of snacks on any of my friend's desks. Basically, they are calling me. If Marian has any food snacks on his desk I must have it. I must check on it, nibble a bit, then guiltily put it back until there is nothing left to put back. I know now for instance that yesterday Cristina (in another lab, waaay down the hall) still had some belgian seashells (i gave them to her, ha!) that were really calling me. They are still calling for me now. Sometimes, I open my overhead cupboard and search for snacks, thinking that there might be something left from that time, long ago (6-8 months?) when Sandra brought me Mamee. Alas, nothing is there.

4. I get distracted by coffee. And water. And tea. And of course, what goes in, must come out.

5. So I am distracted by toilets, too (see above).

6. Lastly, I am distracted by future trips. Climbing in Chiang Mai the day after tomorrow!!! Going home in June and climbing in Lacu Rosu!!! Going to India in November!! NEPAL!!! And those that are still an idea in my head: Kinabalu, climbing with Sandra and Doris in Europe wherever it is that we will settle, mount Rinjani.

The gods want me fat

It is as clear as daylight that there is some conspiracy very very high up to make me fat. It's as clear as the fact that my ass forms a black-hole around my midsection which pulls me off the wall every time I want to climb.

I was supposed to go to Climb Asia today to pick up a guidebook for Chiang Mai (going there this weekend). As such, I planned my run around this trip: was going to run to Harbour Front and then take the MRT to climb asia. I was actually looking forward to this run because frankly, I am getting tired of the runs around NUS. It's the same thing over and over again, and if it's not flat, up, down, flat, down, up, up (the A1 bus route) it is up, down, up, flat, up, down, flat (the A2 bus route), with an equal number (and steepness) of ups. As such, the (mostly) flat run to Harbour Front, while a bit longer, was very very appealing. And then I find out that the team has two guidebooks which are readily available on campus. And there goes my run flying off the window.

I grudgingly shift my brain* to a run around campus and try to find some variation in it - maybe run two loops, maybe skip one stretch ... Anyway, there is nothing that i can do since i have to pass by the gym anyway. So i resign myself to the NUS run.

But noooo! The gods are not merciful as it has been now raining for half an hour and it does not seem to stop. And it's not drizzling either, it is one of those "holy cow, i hope the roof doesn't start to leak" kinda rains. And i feel my butt getting bigger and bigger and my fingers are screaming in agony because it's them in the end that have to hoist it up the wall. And no, typing is not adequate training for them either :)

*Something that i still have trouble doing: if i had originally made a plan to do something, i cannot undo it or do something else in exchange because OMG. IT WAS A PLAN!!! HOW CAN YOU NOT FOLLOW THE PLAN@??!?!

75 cents

The last day in Boston was the only day that had good weather (more pics to come). So, being the hard-working girl that we all know and love, I took the subway to Harvard station and walked around the Harvard campus for a while.

I stopped for lunch at one point, and had my salad while watching people play chess on some tables outside the cafe. Two or three old people advertised 2$ matches. I do suppose that for those two dollars they would kick your ass in two seconds flat. I say this because I saw one of them arrange the pieces according to some picture in a book, and then closing the book and proceeding to play the whole thing by himself, like a true pro planning to do this the whole day.

Anyhow, one of the old guys was beating the hell out of a very young boy, there with his whole class (apparently some robotics competition at the University of Boston). The old man with the book was free so this homeless guy approaches him. I say he was homeless by the way he was dressed and by his shoes, but in retrospect he was smoking a cigarette which would suggest at least some money right?

Anyhow, the homeless guy reaches into his pocket and takes out a fist-full of coins. He counts them slowly, swaying from side to side. Points his palm to the old guy sitting at the table.

"I have only 75 cents", he says.

The old man nods him to sit down. He then asks the homeless guy something, I suppose to the effect of his chess proficiency.

"I, I ... I think too much", answers the homeless guy. [at this point i freaked out because i was just taking his picture, see below]

And they proceed to play.



I do not know what impressed me: the massive discount, or the fact that a homeless guy would spend all his money on a game of chess. Maybe this is just Harvard, maybe it's in the water ...

Boston, MA - day 2

Everything would be just fine if it weren't so cold and it didn't rain like it was spring in hell.

Run-wise and climb-wise i have not been the best today. Because this morning it was raining cats and dogs and ducks, I went running to the gym! On a treadmill! I only lasted about 2 miles before the boredom got the best of me. I do not understand how people can run on treadmills, especially since when i come off the treadmill I have trouble walking because i am still very dizzy (confirmed with the prof, i am not crazy, it happens to him too!)

I WENT CLIMBING in the MIT gym! It is in the Walker Memorial building, which is like a planet-away from the NUS SRC building that hosts my dear NUS gym. Unfortunately, the gym is very very small. It was a fun hour nonetheless - there were very few people in the gym [picture is not mine, I have yet to see the sun]


I literally SWAM back to the hotel. We went for dinner afterwards. Unfortunately, it was chinese food, but to my surprise I quite enjoyed it although the portions were gigantic (yet another one of the reasons americans are SO HUGE!)


It was also the first time I opened a fortune cookie! Mine is the one on the left - is it hinting that I need to blog?! I opened the prof's as well.

Boston, MA

Well, yesterday went by ok... I managed to keep my mouth shut long enough for people not to notice the fact that I suck. I also managed to actually do some work with the boss even though we were both so jet-lagged we were literally snapping at each other. One day down, two more to go.

Unfortunately, I have not been able to climb yet, but I ran around the charles river! And saw ducks, and wild daffodils! Other than that, the hotel room is great! Outside it's c-c-c-c-cold!! And the trees have no leaves!

The view from my hotel room


I want one of these armchairs!


The charles river (boston is on the other side)



You know you have been reading too much of Song of Ice and Fire if you take a photo of this:


We are in this building


MIT square:


I bet they would look much nicer with leaves!

Touched

The previous post was not true!!! I want to thank Singapore Airlines for putting me right next to my boss - him at the isle and me next to him!! I also want to thank Singapore Airlines for giving us a good conversation topic - the age of their aircraft, the small size of the screen, etc.

Nonetheless, I bore the trip much better because I kept on snacking on rice crackers. Delivered by Sandra and Doris who came to surprise me! SURHPRISE!!!!!!!



PS. BTw, boston is beautiful. The trip was crap. Sleep!

A cruel joke

So I am in a meeting with the boss (i.e. the one i am traveling with tonight! - the first part of the journey will be ok because we checked-in separately hence we will not be sitting close yay!!).

And he says: "Oh, we will have a lot of free time in MIT ..." (and he seems to ponder)

At this point (i have been in this meeting for the whole day, give or take) my mind wanders and I see visions of visiting cambridge, and Harvard Square and strolling by the river, taking a lot of pics and so on...

And then he continues:
"So, could you print the papers we have published, I want to start working on the next paper..."

ARGH!!!!!

Hopefully i will see SOMETHING!

Withdrawal

During the Boulderactive week, I drank an average of two large coffees with a dash of milk, from either coffee bean, spinelli, or mcafe. The first days of this week I gave myself two consolation coffees, sort of like a pat on the back for being weak and not competing, as well as being stuck in singapore most probably till the end of this year (more about this later). But today no more! Back to my own brew! My own brew is either instant coffee with milk (DOUBLE YUCK) or simply brewed coffee. Because I am too lazy to wash the french press, what i do for brewed coffee is something like:

1. boil water.

2. put one spoon of coffee in the cup (cup may or may be not washed from the day before)

3. pour hot water on it

4. allow the beans to settle.

5. drink - sometimes still have to chew some beans (SINGLE YUCK)

This morning i was lazy so i opted for the DOUBLE YUCK. By noon I was suffering from severe withdrawal, headaches, drowsiness, and a temper to fuck off even the bravest and the mightiest of them all. Told friend to suck it up when she was complaining about the toughness of her first ever "get fit" program. Told lab mate to and I quote "you could stop whining for a change" - while the words in total accordance with what i felt right then (and i still do now after a gulp of hot SINGLE YUCK option) .. still ...

I am still holding strong and not buying any branded coffee - two reasons: it's expensive and i do not know what to do with the cup! It is un-recycle-able waste!


Definite symptoms of caffe

Boulderactive 2010

Yesterday I was so tired I went to my boss to re-sign a form that I thought i had lost. Turns out I had already submitted the form to the secretary on Thursday, but apparently I had totally wiped Thursday out of my mind. That's because it came after Wednesday and Tuesday, and before Friday, Sat, and Sunday which were the actual days of the competition. During Boulderactive 2010 the amount of dust, chalk and grime that my face was subjected to, together with the lack of water, resulted in eight (EIGHT) pimples on my face. I will call them Snow white, Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, and Sneezy. You do not want to know how one of them earned its "Snow White" name, to say nothing about Sneezy.

Again I did not take part, mostly because I am weak, but also because I wanted to help out more than previous times. As usual, many things to be inspired about, many things to be scared of. The high walls (5m) led to a lot of injuries (at least 19), with at least two ankle sprains and one knee ligament tear. So sad that one of the sprains and the knee injury came to our girls, right after they had qualified for the finals.

This year I was inspired by the little people, Doris and Jansen. Doris got THIRD for open women!!! Short and skinny (even by asian standards, which makes one really short and really skinny) does have its advantages. Not going to talk about how strong Doris is (there is a reason we call her Boris), but will talk about how after a disappointing qualifying round one can regroup, rethink, sleep, and do a very good job in the finals. Good job Dodo, I am so proud of you!!

Jansen (another short and skinny person) inspired me with his composure and control plus very smooth footwork during the last route of open men. Like everybody and I do mean the entire mall was watching him climb and cheering and hooting and all that. This would have sent me squirming for a mattress to hide under but he was cool as a cucumber and finished the route to a raging audience. No typewriter effect, no hesitation, no nothing. I can't become skinny (ha!) nor short, but on footwork, control, and composure I can work.

Because San and i didn't climb at all last week (except when we set the Boulderactive routes), we went climbing at CA last night. Met with Charlene and Daniel and had three and a half hours of non-stop, all-out bouldering until our fingers and various joints were sore. Hopefully the whole week will be like this because next week I will be at MIT - they do have a climbing gym but who knows when they are open?

Most shacked

Spent the night from Tuesday to Wednesday painting the walls at Boulderactive 2010. It has been a while since I did not close a wink the whole night. Spent the whole of Wednesday setting routes for novice and inter women finals. Afterwards, sandra and i went climbing at ca.

The climbs were pathetic as i was most shacked by that time and i was already speaking nonsense. Crashed at home around 9 after i didn't trust myself to go look for a cab so i took the bus home. Slept like a log till 9:30 am (most luxurious since i do not make it past 7 usually). I dragged myself out of bead for fear of a meeting with my boss that got cancelled in the end.

Still have to prepare tutorials but how can I since i feel like a very VERY big tractor rolled over me more than once. And i still have paint under my fingernails!! Below are the pictures of one of the walls. Before you congratulate us on our craftsmanship, we only painted the background!!


I like the first version of the guy more!

Which science fiction writer are you?

I am: Isaac Asimov One of the most prolific writers in history, on any imaginable subject. Cared little for art but created lasting and memorable tales.

Which science fiction writer are you?

I had just started to think again about getting a job, and applying and all that shit. And I started panicking again (of course!) so I started reading some more blogs, and I came across this test. One of my favorite Sci-fi writers too!

A day of firsts

First day I actually nodded to sleep (for about five minutes) at my desk.

First day ever! when i went for tea with my supervisor dressed in shorts and a climbing singlet (why oh why was I not wearing a t-shirt at least?!) This is after today until lunch I was actually wearing a dress, but I decided to change and go for one last climb in the gym before we take down the tiles .. And to top it off I even met him this morning while wearing the dress! The look on his face was priceless when he saw my afternoon wear.

Supervisor has seen me in tights with pink hotpants over them: check
Supervisor has seen me in tights, going running: check
Supervisor has seen me in shorts with SINGLET! (why oh why?): check


How long until he initiates a dress code i wonder?

PS For those who might wonder why i shy to wear a sleeveless, cut singlet in front of my boss - witness the INCREDIBLE HULK:

Unexpected constraints

When Marian and I got together I used to complain that he does not read a lot. Well to be honest, he didn't read at all, preferring to spend his evenings in front of one or multiple movies or playing games. I used to complain that the computer will fry his brain. That he should be reading to increase his vocabulary and all that blah blah blah. Little was I to know that all this will be coming back to haunt me.

Recently, he has developed a certain fondness towards the fantasy genre - you know, the one with the kings and the dragons and the magic and the knights and the swords and the 14 volume books where each volume is a white weapon in most of the countries in this world. Throughout his reading saga, I have managed sometimes to pass on him some books (other than sci-fi) that I enjoyed. However, I have so far managed to forestall the moment when he would be sharing a book (877 pages in one volume WTF?!!) of his. Like this i managed to miss "Wheel of Time", a 13-volume saga that I know would have killed me.

But no more! He has been raving about "A Song of Ice and Fire" to the extent that at one point i said "Ok, I will give it a try." (if only to keep him from telling me about every chapter and every thread in the book - this strategy backfires!) All nice and dandy, he went ahead and put it on the nook (from now on to be referred to as the hippo - because it can drink so many books but still stay fit and healthy hahaha) and proceeded to bug me every time I was reading something else. To the point where now A Song of Ice and Fire is the Approved Book and the rest do not even exist. I am slowly making progress through book 2 (only 4 yay!) and this is all we talk during lunch (e.g. strategy backfire!!), and the book is blissfully free of magic and stuffs, but! I usually read more than one book at a time! Which i cannot because I am always grilled if I am reading the Approved Book :)

It has not helped me that I finally got Jensen's "What the dog saw" which is a very large and horribly conspicuous brick, and that I am also expecting Shu Hui's book - thankfully this one takes a long time to materialize.

The second book has 877 pages on the hippo. l have not looked at the third nor the forth but i expect them to be the same. I managed to finish the first one in about 2 days, but the last half day was horrible, with me literally banging my head and asking "oh when oh when is it going to like ever finish?!" I guess it's only some books that you never want to end ...

I lost THE ring

This is how i feel right now: cute but STUPID (and i know i am insulting the bird in saying this). A series of unfortunate events has led me to lose Marian's ring. ZOMG how could i be so foolish, so stupid, so out of touch with reality? The ring adorned my hairy left ring finger for a year or so and now it is gone. Pfft.

Dramatic wailing ensured and a lot of profanities did caress my tongue, but in the end it is gone and I will have to replace it. Stoopid is as stoopid does.

...

Two things i wanted to celebrate here. Well not really celebrate but still. One is the above cartoon which actually fills me with dread because I know that my thesis is not even half as good as Cecilia's (and she's a cartoon character for crying out loud). The second is that I've weighed myself today and i hope to god that muscle weighs more than fat because otherwise i will have stop eating for at least three hours. To give you a clue, it is fair to say that 10% of my weight is NOT closer to the 5kg bar. So much for deception.

Saturday morning

I do sometimes think about these beautiful places, especially while waiting for my students to come. I am holding a pre-mid-term tutorial for them but so far only one has arrived.

Travel with the boss

SO. I will be going to MIT with my supervisor. No conference, no papers accepted, no nothing, just a trip. ZOMFG MIT!!! That's where all the smart people are?! How the hell did I get to go there and how the hell will I manage not to embarrass myself? I mean, I can shut my face for like maybe three hours or so, but what about the rest of the time? How does one prevent other people from seeing how stoopid one is?

So we have question number one:

1. How does one prevent other people from seeing how stupid one is?

Great, with that out of the way, here comes question 2:

2. How does one travel with one's boss?

This is a hard one because of the following:

• What if i fall asleep and my head lolls and my mouth opens and i drool?


• What if he sits at the aisle and i sit inside and you know i need to pee like a zillion times?!


• What do I do?! Do i read papers or do I watch a movie? Do I read a book? If yes, what book? Ok granted, we can talk about the nook for a while but then what?


• Which brings me to the last one: WHAT THE FUCK does one talk with one's supervisor FOR A WHOLE WEEK?!


• Would this be a good time to ask him about my future?


• How does one restrain from saying "shit" and "fuck" for more than a day? Shit ...

Google has not helped me at all. Below are a few excerpts from what I have found:

• On a plane with your boss? Bring reading material that makes it appear like you are always trying to hone your business/advertising/communication skills. Books like "The One Minute Manager" or "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" are good choices - YEAH RIGHT


• Keep the conversation about your boss. This deflects any unwanted attention or exposure to your personal life. Ask you boss about her inspirations, why she chose the business, her first job out of college, etc - AHAM, good one


• Be extra prepared. There’s a chance your travel plans will go awry -- a very good chance. Though you can’t prepare for everything that can go wrong, you can have contingency plans for the more likely difficulties. For instance, know the name of a nearby hotel in case yours has been overbooked. Carry an extra battery for your cell phone, laptop or camera (or your boss’s). - RIGHT ON. Getting to it NOW


• Don’t lose your temper. Emotions cloud rationality and make for an uncomfortable atmosphere. And what boss wants to supervise a person who can’t control his emotions? MY FAVORITE!!!! XCCSDSDW!@!E$@#$@$


• Showing up on time for a 6am cross-country flight dressed the way you’d be dressed for a day at the office and not looking ready to snooze your way across the country. This is BAD - I have recently acquired a favorite ELMO t-shirt to travel - guess it will have to go under a shirt or something


• Don’t venture into sensitive subjects. Stay away from topics that might be flammable. Politics, religion, sex and personal hygiene, for instance, can all be career-ending conversation starters. - No shit, Sherlock!


• Pursuit of the opposite sex while still in business company - Dear god, i hope we don't get into that - it would be worse than seeing him in berms, seriously.

The beginning ...

... of a beautiful friendship.

Daffy has had the honor of being the fourth to give me a getfat pack! She had some tough steps to follow of the people that came before her, namely San, Dor, and Reg. Still she managed to introduce me to what will definitely become a butt-enhancing habit. Behold the rice cracker!!


Upon desperate queries she confessed that this is not a chinese new year treat but! some helpful information followed, namely that the brand is called Wang Wang (i hope it's just a brand name and i dun embarrass myself too much by saying, i don't know, i hate short chinese people?!) and that i could find it in NTUC. The quest begins as soon as possible!

A lazy Sunday

The feeling of Sunday comes from the fact that we spent 7 hours cycling in Pulau Ubin yesterday - it was all amazing fun, toppled with a very artistic fall from yours truly and a somewhat not artistic chafing by yours truly as well (caused I suspect from trying the mountain bike course and having to fall/stop a lot of times and then trying to no avail to get back on the bike) - I still cannot turn right, mount, dismount, and change gears properly, to say nothing of the aim hahaha, but still, good fun. And then today we actually lazed around and only came to school around 11 am which is like the utmost luxury. Sigh.

In a lull

[Just a better title for Meh.]

There's a time in your life where you think you will live forever. When 30 is old and 40 is like ancient. When marriage, children, career, health, insurance policy are all grown-up boring discussions and your life (at least mine) is all about walking the dog, rollerblading, and, later in life, climbing, running and all that. And when you do hear about bad things happening it's always in passing and always very very far away. And even when bad things are close, you can still look around you and identify your things, your rocks, your foundation or safety net. Like friends, family, favorite things or hobbies, things and people that you know will be around forever (or for a longer span than let's say, a year).

And then friends move away and NEVER keep in touch (and i mean AT ALL) in this dying age where Internet is available in most corners of this godforsaken earth. And you look around and you can count your friends (local) on at most the fingers of one hand.

And then you hear about somebody your age, that you went to school with, that has developed leukemia and has a very high chance of dying. Like soon. And it's not like other friends that have died about whom you could have said that they had it coming. This is like for real, pure, unasked, unexpected death. And if you don't have the benefit of a belief in heaven there's like nothing left. Fat worms eating your flesh at most.

And then you hear about somebody in the same graduate program that is insane. Certified or soon to be certified. And you look around and you hope that your hobbies and your friends (countable by the fingers of one hand) will keep you sane. And hope that you do not get injured again such that you can keep climbing and running (my elbow hurts! bad! and so does my ankle - must be all the Chinese new year food) because let's face it, these are the things that keep you sane in the absence of family, a real career and in the presence of DOUBT.

And because life as a phd student in a foreign country is one big hill that you need to keep on climbing consistently, you need a lot of Neverquits. And sometimes you just run out of Neverquits and all the shops that sell Neverquits (not to be mistaken with the shops that sell Moreballz) are closed because of .. chinese new year [?] It's that time when there's only one cure:


PS. I just wrote an entire page to justify the buying of [another] pair of shoes. Pfft.

Get fat

As if last night's lame climbing session (lame from my part, obviously) where I spent 75% of the time talking and the other 25% snoozing on the mattresses wasn't enough, now I have to deal with this thing right on the desk behind me. Calling and calling and beckoning and calling and asking and calling ...


Yes indeed, this is my get fat pack from Sandra (the square box) and Doris woo hoo!!! At the time of writing the one from Sandra is empty except the candies which I do not want to try because they might be sweet. The peanut butter cookies were gone like in two seconds after taking this pic and the prawn rolls and whatever-seafood seasoned white strips have just finished oh no! Doris expertly put a lot of stuff between the superior layer of bak kwa and the bottom layer. I however, because I am smart like that, managed to penetrate her defenses and am now halfway through the bottom bak kwa without having to eat all the dried plums and whatnot in between, yum!

WIN

Because now matter how much i donate it won't make a difference (because i am poor), maybe this will. I hope it does and i hope they got the pics.

PS. yes, that is the NUS football field and yes, i am wearing pink, albeit a very angry one.

The day I pain[t]ed

Which i haven't done since like the first grade or so. And that totally killed me because I was so frustrated that whatever came out of my hands was NOT what was in my mind. Pfft! I don't know how those painters do it, i swear.

The end product (basically shit):



My friend is a pro:


All the pretty colors:


This is how people who enjoy it really look like:


I look like I am about to give birth, extremely excited. NOT!

Chinese New Year ho!

Well, I guess the one that is enjoying CNY the most is Marian. He has been stuck in bed reading "A song of ice and fire" since Friday. It is now monday and there are still no signs of movement. He is refusing to watch movies (it used to be me, what the hell happened to the world?), to feed himself, and going out is a chore. Last time i checked he was at the third book and the fact that there are two more to go and only 2 days left of the holidays is no good because he just can't read that fast. Other than that, spent a pretty ordinary holiday.

Helped my friend move on Saturday and then went ahead and challenged myself some more (hopefully i will get the pictures to show exactly how) ok, fine, I PAINTED. With PAINT. On CANVAS. Pffft... I am extremely eager to get the pics (apparently the girl that took the pics went ahead and fucked up the card and so i will be trying to recover it) because if not, it just means that we have to do the whole thing all over again and I don't think my nerves will be able to take it.

Climbed yesterday at Climb Asia with my non-climbing friends. One of them is apparently terrified of heights to the point where he cannot look down to see where he is stepping lest he freezes and cannot move. However, with some encouraging and shoving and pulling he managed to get to the top of the outside big wall! You would say that this would at least quiet his fear, but no, he kept his eyes closed the whole time while marian lowered him down. I find this extremely inspiring - how come a lot of people have so many balls whereas i don't even have the guts to finish the CA roof? Where do these people buy balls may I know? Was there like a sale recently? Cause I would so buy like a bucketfull.

Gong Xi Gong Xi

I'm ushering in the new year, i really really am! Firstly, i am enjoying the almost empty canteen - i do not know where everybody went but i sure am enjoying the fact that they went!! Secondly, I am looking forward to my get fat pack which hopefully will arrive these days from Sandra, Doris, and Regina - or from all of them woo hoo!!! As such, I did not buy any cookies today although the almond snacks were really really calling for me. And I went shopping this morning to stock up food for the first two-three days of the new year when EVERYTHING will be closed. I braved the supermarket gingerly balancing my free Starbucks coffee (thanks to jenny and flower), my bag, the bag from the bakery which back then packed (I ADMIT) three four cheese buns and three sesame cheese buns more than it does now, and the shopping basket! and fighting all the small (but fierce!) chinese old ladies out for the last or for the most fresh tomato out there - one of them snatched the last piece of broccoli right from in front of my eyes, WTF?

I know that I would not make a very good wartime housekeeper because the chinese new year provisions that i selected are: 5 apples, 8 tomatoes, 2 l of milk, 500 gr of white grapes, 70 gr baked almonds, 1 loaf of bread, 1 weet-bix, and 3 dragonfruits! We are going to starve to death, oh yes we are :))

The coming of the chinese new year brings possibilities of new resolutions, on top of the fresh year's ones: cutting down on carbs (i.e. bread - i was considering this while munching on the buns), running extra five k (making it a total of 10k) on alternate days, challenging myself more, more climbing, more mountains, ... etc. etc. etc. A happy year of the tiger everybody! ROAR!

PS picture of native friendly bird from NZ.

A cry for help

Ho there boy!! I wish there were an equivalent expression in English - what do you say to a horse who is about to go off on a rampage? (And of course this sentence was followed by amazing google queries such as "how to talk to horses" "wow there boy horse" and other stuff - if google had a table with one's IP and the cumulative IQ of their queries I think I have just dropped a few points) Seriously, claudia just wanted her mamma in the previous post, and san and dor, thanks for being my mommies (oh boy that sounded wrong) yesterday. There are bigger fish to fry, a phd to finish, and more pull-ups to do so no point in whining and stomping feet. Hell it could be worse, with me being truly alone at the other end of the universe - who would i have to rant on then.

It could be EVEN worse, what with having to face death at such a young age. This is the case of a university colleague of mine who has acute lymphoblastic leukemia, i will say it again, ACUTE LYMPHOBLASTIC LEUKEMIA, and whose wife (another uni colleague of mine) is giving birth next month. Furthermore, the costs of bone marrow transplant operation (which can only be done outside romania pfft!) is 150.000 EURO. Furthermore, they have managed to raise about 50000 EURO only. This is a horrible shift in perspective and one that i wish to god me and my loved ones will never have to make.

I have been struggling a lot trying to figure out how i could help to raise money - cook pies and ask for people to donate? sell my books and donate the amount? I have about 40 books, at 5-10 dollars each ... It all feels so puny and unjust it just makes me want to scream. What is the price that you can ask to save a life - seeing how it could very well be you in that position. Or is it just easier to shrug and say "Well, it's not me?"

I figure there are about 20 visitors a day here. If we all chip in and donate 5 SGD (am assuming we are all poor students) that would be 100 SGD = 50 euros. It's very little but if it could be done weekly then maybe it would make a difference. There is a paypal donation button on the right side of the site. Below is the link to the page. The text says "I am helping Daniel Raduta in his fight against leukemia".

Outsider

Coming to Asia from a Latin country is a huge leap of faith even for the most open-minded of us Latins. Latin families are very close-knit, feelings and fights are always in the open and until the very end, and passion is just another word for normal. Asia is different and provides a huge culture shock to most. People are shorter, their facial expression are almost unreadable, the food is new and mostly too spicy to take, there is no bread and the cheese and coffee are awful. Respect is assumed and not earned, mostly by age and social status. Corruption exists but is is very well disguised, especially to outsiders. Sarcasm and irony are not understood and self-deprecating humor is almost inexistent - quite surprising, considering some of the Chinese proverbs I've heard. And yes, more importantly, the society is very closed to outsiders. If you don't feel left out by your size or the color of your skin, there will definitely be something that will make you feel an outsider such as temperament, expectations, etc.

With previous incarnations of the team i used to feel very lonely or left out every time they would go out and forget (or not think) to ask me. Or when they would accidentally bump into a friend and present me as "this is claudia, she likes durians" as if portraying some kind of weird foreigner characteristic. It didn't bother me as much, seeing how an open, welcoming attitude towards strangers is normal i guess only for expats - since the people already living here have their set of friends for a very long time already and are unwilling/shy/lazy to make the space and effort for anybody else. But it does bring a bitter taste seeing how the two major highlights of my non-climbing related socializing events with my climbing friends came in 2008 when I a) got invited to Cherlyn's to watch the opening of the Beijing olympics and b) got invited to Shu Mei's for pre-marathon carbo-loading. If it's not the color of the skin, the weird occupation, the humor, the language, the choice of lifestyle (let's be honest, VERY FEW Singaporeans would EVER leave home), the weird foodstuffs, the curly hair, the hair color, etc., that will be somehow pointed out to you to show how different you are, well, recently I've found another one: AGE. Or rather not age, but the social tag that comes with each age interval. Like at this age you should be doing this, hanging out with these people, looking out for career opportunities, buying the latest ipHone, iTampon or whatever, being a good son or a good daughter, etc. etc. Truth is, if age doesn't somehow point me out as an outsider in the current team, the lack of preoccupation for the rat-race (bonuses, staying late to please the boss, must advance in career, have something to show for myself for cny dinner, etc etc) will point me out with the others.

I have never given age more thought than tonight since for me it matters more a person's inner youth than his IC age (hell, most 23-year olds here are about 17 by most international standards) but I somehow come to glimpse that it matters for others. Quite an offhand remark - "But Claud, why do you want to go [to Outward Bound Singapore]? You'll be the oldest one there!..." spiked all this literature and my decision to finish this training cycle and then permanently move outside the team and trainings. Quite frankly, I am sick of being an outsider so I will just move on my remote island and fuck everybody else.

Perspective

I will spare you the morbid musings on how a year more in one's age is only a year closer to death, but I can't help but notice that other people think so too! There you go, I went ahead and validated my beliefs not through a logical proof but by relating to the masses - I am one step closer to feeling comfortable among my fellow beings. Regardless, I got a book for my birthday called Cosmos by Carl Sagan. It's sort of popular science with the cosmos and the planets, and the greeks, but very well written. Below is one of the passages that stuck, mainly because it says what i was thinking to the comma (only more articulate, mind you):

Part of the resistance to Darwin and Wallace derives from our difficulty in imagining the passage of millennia, much less the aeons. What does seventy million years mean to beings who live only one-millionth as long? We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever.

Twenty-fucking-eight

I swear to god nothing spells G.E.E.K than six people playing RISK from 7pm to 1:30 a-fucking-m. I just wish I weren't such a grump and could actually take part in their enthusiasm, with Marian being the chief violin. All in all, it was a wonderful party, everybody seemed to like the food (again, I think no picture). I am off to CA now, with a sekret plan to try on the roof (and have the guts to fall from it). The theme of this year will be "challenge" for me. As such, I am wearing a girly dress and! plan to take a fall from the roof. YAY! Maybe I'll even try some pig organ soup this year, who knows?

NOOK!!!

Yesterday I was grinning so much that I had an instant headache - not too instant to go away i'm affraid. Basically, this is my b-day present from Marian.

Lo and behold, a nook e-book reader!! It's slick! It's lovely! Means I can continue to buy books and a) not feeling bad for the trees that I cut and b) not having to worry what I am going to do with them once I leave here. ZOMG IT IS GREAT!!!!! (the yellow blotch is just a camera mishap, relax :) )

Dusky Track - (Part 2)

Read the first part here. Read until the end, there are naked videos of me!

Day 4. Loch Maree to Supper Cove hut. Tis the day we first swam in Dusky Sound. Dusky Sound was so called by captain Cook when he arrived here in 1770, you got it, at dusk. It's beautiful, it's amazing and we didn't see much of it because it was clouded. And it was raining.


Back to the swimming part, the Interwebs guides will tell you that you can cut 2 hours short if you walk through the Sound at low tide. They really mean at LOW tide, not at half-low tide. Because if you try at half-low tide, you can walk a part through knee-high water (this is normal), and then you have to SWIM a part to the shore. This is fun (although the first time the cold water reaches your groin area YOU ARE A DIFFERENT PERSON) while you swim, and even warm when you reach the shore, but then, unless the shore is in a warm, sunny place, you become very cold. Regardless, you can swim with your boots on (who would have thought?) and the backpack floats.


And no, you can't carry the backpack on your head, not if the water is deep!




After that, Marian, Pasha and one german guy that was at the hut went fishing in a thunderstorm. They caught 27 fishes, out of which 6 or so were big enough to be eaten, among them a blue cod! trout! While the incredible waste made me seriously consider not eating and throwing a huge tantrum, I relented to Marian's enthusiasm and cooked the buggers. The blue cod was delicious!







Day 5. From Supper cove to loch Maree - the only half sunny day!! This was the only day when the solar panel was actually used to charge our iphones. Good, good! We even lost the track at one point and managed to find it using the GPS!


Day 6. From Loch Maree hut to Kintail Hut. The guide books and the rangers at the DOC office will say that you should not leave Loch Maree for Kintail if you can't see the tree stumps in the Loch. I come and add to this: even if you do see the stumps but it has been raining steadily for two-three days, DO NOT GO. Unless you want to swim for it.


And swam we did. The first time I even stripped to my sports bra. Afterwards I didn't bother, figuring that I would waste too much heat by dressing-undressing (it was raining of course so we were wet and cold on a lot of levels). The gore-tex + thermal combination worked wonders for me.


We lost the trail many times because the orange triangles were heavily underwater (they are placed at about 1 m height) and you could not see them. At one point we wondered into deer country even, we were so far off the track - a combination of gps (until it died) and my knack of finding the way saved us in the end.




Hell, remember that family? Well, we found them stranded on a dry patch, waiting for a river to go down. In the end, we helped them get to Kintail - cross a lot of streams, rapids, up and down etc etc. My guess is that he wanted to kill her because otherwise I cannot for the life of me imagine WHY he would bring his severely unprepared wife on a trek like this. Ah well... It took us a total of 12 hours (and them 15) to get to Kintail Hut. The last three/four hours I was alone with them, having agreed with the boys for them to go ahead and then come back for us - the pace was snail-like. Marian turned out to be my hero because they really did come back for us! By that point I was nearly hypothermic because we were going so slow that I could not warm up at all - still wet, in shorts (ha ha). Marian and Pasha came and Pasha stayed with them while I ran the last km or so to the hut with Marian in tow (carrying my backpack - v. heavy as I had a large part of the family's clothes) such that I can prepare some warm drink. BRRR.

A story in watches

- excuse the hairy hand, it's one of my many many charms :)

1. Who I am - no doubt about it, big screen, electronics, functionality (timer, stopwatch, alarm), SPORTY!

2. Who I am when I am high on caffeine - girly, baby blue, square!

3. Who I want to be - modern, slick, quirky (a bit, the golden metal squares in the strap are not equal) but still cool

4. Who my mother wants me to be (i secretly like this watch as well :D)- slick, elegant

Now all I need is two more arms such that I can wear them all at the same time!