When I moved here three months ago, two friends came over to help me with buying a car, renting a place, etc. This was very helpful to me because not only was I clueless in a new country, but, contrary to previous clueless situations, I was clueless and alone. Things were quite rushed for the first week and so I didn't have the time or the energy to feel alone or like I missed my friends or Marian. And then they left.
That hit me pretty bad in terms of loneliness and depression. I know this because immediately after they left I stopped eating and in the following week(s) I lost enough kg (don't know exactly, I don't have a scale) to drop from a size 8-10 to a size 6. Things were better after that because I went to visit said friends and I went to Singapore again. And I started eating. I think of that as stage 1 of my peculiar depression.
I am now entering another stage in which depression, loneliness etc., manifests itself through not wanting to initiate contact with people (they are so far away anyway, so why bother), through eating ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING, sleeping 10-11 hours a night, talking to my goldfish, and by doing copious amounts of online shopping. I find this depression more destructive than the other, because in the former I could at least say that something good (i.e. loss of weight) was coming out of it, the latter is not only depleting my bank account but also adding fat to my thighs. Hopefully it will end soon since I am visiting my friends again, and I will go to singapore at the end of the month. The question remains though, what fresh hell will await me after that?
7 comments:
I can only imagine how difficult it is to be alone in a foreign county, but don't you think you'd feel better if you had some people there to go out with? You already are in a running 'team', why not invite some of them over for drinks and see how they really are? :)
haha yes, but the people in the running team are the people i work with ... and i only have 2 glasses in the whole house!!!! hahah but this is a subject for another post ... "why i can't invite people over ..." plus, i'm not sure about how socializing works here; anyway, you are right. I should invite people over. Must buy glasses first though ...
marian will join u soon at the end of the year! it's september soon.. meaning 2+ more months before you get ur hubby back :))
and yessssssss am eagerly anticipating ur arrival, hopefully the durian mooncakes are still in season!!
oh no claud.. dun be depressed. LIKE THAT IF I DEPRESSED WHO AM I GG TO TALK TO?? haha.. kidding ya..eat more :D studies show higher sugar levels = more serotonin = more calm and less depression! (links are inferred by me) there will be durian pudding (oh yes.. yummy and new!) and durian mooncakes waiting.. the mooncakes are pumped w so much preservatives, im sure it'll keep
haha dudes and dudettes, relax .. methinks since i AM able to talk about it, it should be much better right? right? anw, i will eat raw durian, season or no season haha
I think you need more Facebook/Google Plus. :P Cheer up and keep running!
@rme facebook is starting to bore me actually :))
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