Avoidance

Last night I ran a 6 k route for the millionth time. I am so sick of the routes in NUS that to kill boredom I started to think about very unpleasant subjects. Like the fact I am very good at avoiding doing actions that I know will have very unpleasant results for me. For example, I do not want to check my bank account to make sure the ATM in Chiang Mai did not take more than it's fare share because I do not want to see the pitiful state in which my savings have arrived.

My main avoidance technique is to think about what i have to do, squirm violently, and put the thing at the back of my head, to be done later. Of course the thing will stay where I put it only for a limited amount of time.

After a while, it will get so loud that I will have to deal with it. I deal with it by jotting it down in my organizer, under the things to do maybe 2-3 days from now. When the day comes and I still do not do it, it will move it a few times until I put it on my stickies on the computer. I noticed that the stickies act as a land of no return for whatever task i put there. Basically, if tasks reach the stickies, they will not get completed. Many barriers I have raised in front of the ugly things and I am very good at raising more. Apparently, I have not yet milked the power of the blog, so here it goes.

Below are a few of the things I need to do but I haven't, together with their reasons for avoidance.

Google How to train for a faster marathon (under 4 hrs) - Because I know the answer will be "Train harder" and I do not want to train harder. Simple as that.

Buy plane ticket to US - Because I do not want to be penniless again (even though the school will reimburse me. I think. )

See the registration deadline for Pumpfest - Because then there will be no turning back, and I will have to join a bouldering competition after i said i will not join one again. Or did I? Hm ...

Weigh myself - Because I know what the answer will be. FATT.

Buy plane tickets by myself - Because one time, I missed the plane because of that.

Call somebody. Anybody. - Because I still am shy, and still I do not like talking on the phone.