What your friends can teach you

A while ago I started befriending a person with a VERY bubbly personality. I enjoyed the fun and the hysterics that come with such a friendship and I must say I did not mind the fact that that particular person needed to be the very center of attention. EVERY time. Nor that she talked a lot, because let's face it, this blog is my most verbal manifestation. However, at one point I grew tired of the situation, because, as with most friendships with persons with such type of personality and traits, it gets to the point where one is mostly giving without actually receiving anything in return. They, the stars (or the blackholes as I sometimes think of them) get used so much to receiving that they don't really give anything back. Like care, companionship, etc. So now i am at the stage whereby I kick myself for even thinking that this would be feasible on the long run, and i am brooding and thinking a lot.

As I was brooding this morning about these blackholes (it was 5 am as I am still living somewhat on US time), it hit me. Marian has been telling me how another friend of ours is actually giving something back - she's volunteering with some special needs kids. Talk about actually giving back. While i did do my share of volunteering and true, my weekends have not been mine ever since i started writing the thesis, I still felt ashamed about this. Here am I, brooding and whining about people not giving back to ME, when there are people that are giving back to PERFECT STRANGERS without actually expecting anything in return. The utter shame jolted me awake (shame has such powers, doesn't it?) and I couldn't go back to sleep for an hour or so because of it. The conclusion that i reached was that I am inspired and as such will try to volunteer for something once i submit.


On a side note, as the shame was pouring over me (so to speak) I asked Marian who was fast asleep: "Guess what I am thinking about?" (he CAN answer questions while he's asleep, just that it takes a while to get the answer) About thirty seconds pass and he says:

"Um, I don't know... Climbing? Food?"

Pfft ...